Tom Boonen's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Tom Boonen.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Tom Boonen can piss his name into concrete.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Tom Boonen can kill 100 percent of whatever the f*@% he wants.
Tom Boonen's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Tom Boonen once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
When Tom Boonen walks into a dark room, he turns the darkness off, not the lights on.
Tom Boonen counted to infinity - twice.
Tom Boonen can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
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