Recovery

Recovery is a slow and painful process- tedious is a word that often comes to mind for me. I've mentioned my frustrations with the "system" of healthcare, so I won't get into that again (and hopefully not in the future too).

Sitting on the couch with my laptop desk/ stand is getting old fast. Sitting at the kitchen table though just hurts too much. So the couch it is. Answering the many, many emails that have gotten backed up during this month- so if you've sent me an email and have not gotten a response yet, please don't feel neglected because you've got lots of company. The typing situation is still really painful. I can use my thumb better but having the cast on weakened my forearm/ wrist and it wears out fast and I get massive cramps/ spasms after a little while. Plus I can't straighten the right arm yet, due to all the "soft tissue damage" in the elbow.

The knee feels a lot better, most of the time, but does still hurt. Looking forward to being able to get an MRI of the knee to determine what's going on. My ortho suspects some possible tears in the meniscus of the knee joint. The brace should be ready to come off in about 8 weeks. Hopefully the meniscus can heal on the same time schedule as the bones. I'm really itching to start some therapy and get my leg back- the muscle atrophy is bumming me out.

At least all of me is atrophying; since the accident, I've lost about 20 pounds- though some of it is coming back. Before the accident I weighed around 205lbs and last week in the hospital I weighed as little as 184 (with all the hardware on). So now I can see my ribs again and I'm beginning to have the classic cyclist build- the upper body of a 12yr old girl. The old power discrepancy between my right and left legs will get fixed now too- I doubt my right leg will ever be as overpowering again. This will change my Kilo start strategy... for sure.

I'm currently on such a massive dose of blood thinners and anti-coagulants that I've been instructed to be very careful when shaving... WTF? Dang! I'm in danger shaving? Needless to say, I've been growing a shaggy beard that makes me look like a homeless bike dork. Not to mention the first hair on my legs since just after my daughter was born 7 years ago- I started shaving my legs when I was 12 (and didn't have any hair on my legs anyway) and have only let the hair grow a few times since then. I feel like a Wooly Mammoth! Plus I need a haircut! I'm feeling a little over-sensitive on the whole hair subject right now...

Seeing my General Practitioner today. Hopefully I'll be getting some good news so I can return to work soon. I'm feeling better all the time, but the clots are a big concern still, as are the 3 fractured vertebrae in my neck. I won't be able to drive, but may be able to carpool with a co-worker. I miss the outside world... a bit. Plus, soon our sample bikes for the Fall catalog/ Interbike will start showing up and that's always a very special time for me; there is almost nothing quite like seeing your "ideas" turn into real hardgoods. Those first sample arrivals make me feel like a kid on Christmas day... only a lot bigger and dorkier. So hopefully I get the ok to sit on my ass all day in the office, instead of sitting on my ass all day at home. Beginning to learn that flying overseas could be potentially deadly for me now too; long flights are very bad for causing blood clots and I'm now a member of the "high risk" club. Yeah me! I might have to start wearing special compression garments when I fly and have to get up frequently to exercise and keep the blood flowing. Since I have a really hard time sleeping on planes, this might not be such a bad thing. Maybe.

BUT... I'm planning to get better and get back on a bike and get back to the office to keep working with my product manager (Waynebow) to create a bigger, better and way more badderest line of bikes.

Health is a state of mind sometimes and I am working on staying very healthy... promise.

Tim

Happy to be alive.

I just need to remind myself that I am happy to be alive because today was an infuriating day of dealing with our "healthcare" system.

Never get sick.

Never get hurt.

Never ask questions.

I'm blessed to be surrounded by people who love and support me and help when, where and how they can.

Ok... rant done.

Tim

Coolness...

Taking a short departure from my injury stories and ramblings about bicycles for just a moment... so indulge me.

Today, during my usual rounds of the InterWeb, I stopped over at the blog of my friends over at Swobo, How to Avoid the Bummer Life. My buddy Stevil wrote another of his epically good posts. Buried in this rough, yet somehow special gemstone of a post, was a song and music video that has been stuck in my head ever since.



I'm a total music dork. Just like I'm a bike dork or a coffee dork, I loves me some music. The video and song are great, but I really and truly marveled at the talent of the artist. I mean, to create such an amazingly catchy song and corresponding video using very short snippets from the Disney movie Alice in Wonderland... I just kept listening and listening and listening and listening. Maybe it's just me, but I doubt it because the song is really awesome.

So if you have the 2:43 to spare, you should give it a listen/ look and make up your own mind.

Tim
(Best of all, there is a free MP3 download available for the song!)

WARNING; Graphic thumb photos

Well, below are some pretty graphic photos of my right thumb. As my orthopedic surgeon said- "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Dr. William Tontz Jr is the man behind reattaching (heck, "recreating") my thumb. He also said, as he was unwrapping the thumb, "everyday is like Christmas for an orthopedic surgeon." He was right on both comments; beauty truly IS in the eye of the beholder and I did receive a gift when he unwrapped the thumb... a thumb I get to keep and use!

________________________________________________________

Yep... that's a steel pin sticking out of the end of my thumb! DO NOT TOUCH THE PIN!


You can barely see the two sets of stitches on the outside edges of my thumb, but there are several other stitches on the inside of my thumb as well.


See how the color of the thumb is consistent? That means there is blood flow through entire thumb. THANK GOD!


The existing nail is going to fall off. The nail bed looks healthy and should produce a new nail... though it may be another one of those beauty/ eye/ beholder things...


And there we are... a "thumbs up"... because I CAN!

Again, I really can not thank Dr. Tontz Jr enough for his amazing surgical work. He said after he unwrapped the thumb, that he really expected to be unwrapping a "dead thumb"... so we were both very happy with his work. I have zero memory of what my thumb looked like before the surgery, but I am told that it was as if the end of my thumb had been removed like a sheath/ sock and turned inside out... and then the bone got severed off and shoved up through the space between the two halves of my thumb nail. So yeah, Tontz did a phenomenal job of recreating my thumb. And, keep in mind- I was even wearing a pair of full finger gloves when I crashed... so, yeah... wow...

So there's the thumb pictures. Now you can be as grossed out as me. Aren't you glad I shared?

Tim

Home... again.

I'm home again. Sprung from the hospital and the sobering reality of the oncology floor. I am blessed to "only" be as hurt as I am. Wow...

So I'm home now. Yeah, me!

WARNING: Next post will have very graphic photos of my healing thumb. Wanted to just give you all a warning. I'll post the pictures in just a little while, but they are not for the faint of heart... hell, I nearly passed out myself- sincerely. So if you want to see what a surgically reattached thumb looks like, then stick around for just a little while...

Tim

Fingers crossed...

Unless things go sideways, I'll be getting out of here in a few hours and going home!

Clots are stable and my blood numbers are "improving", so I'll get to go home. I'll be going home with a prescription for the blood thinner that I take via a shot twice daily in the abdomen. My mom and step-dad (both are nurses) will get the honors of giving the shots to me- I'm brave, but I ain't that brave.

Gonna be on blood meds for the next 6 months and will have to get my blood monitored often... but I'm gonna get to go home very soon. It'll take about 4-6 weeks for my body to absorb/ dissolve the clots. The drugs I have to take will help keep the blood from clotting again. Waiting for test results that will tell me if I have a permanent need for the drugs- hopefully not, but possibly.

But I'm going home! Home, sweet home.

Tim

Yep, I'm still here...

Still in the hospital as of this morning. Rumor has it that I might be able to go home today... might. So far, early tests of my blood show that it is not thinning out enough for me to be released (I always knew I had good, thick blood). Until the blood is sufficiently thin, I'm sitting on my butt in the hospital. I'm on strict bed rest, though I have "bathroom privileges"- meaning I don't have to potty in a jug. Since I hate TV, I've been getting lots of sleep (thanks to the drugs) and just relaxing with visitors.

I'm on my third roommate here on the oncology floor. This newest one also has severe cancer. He'll probably get to go home before I do, but... I'm damn blessed. Like I said before- I'm massively inconvenienced by some serious injuries, but I am expected to make a total recovery. The conversations I've overheard here over the past few days have helped to give me renewed thankfulness. I've got a personal relationship with cancer (and I'll leave it at that) and I know what it can do to the person with the cancer and all the people in that person's life. To put it plainly- Cancer sucks.

Here's to hoping you're all out riding today and enjoying the weekend. I look forward to being out there with you in the foreseeable future.

Tim

Is this a rerun?

Well, I'm back in the hospital. Turns out that the severe muscle pain I was having in my groin/ thigh of my right leg was being caused by a massive blood clot in my groin and four smaller clots in my calf. Yep... 5 clots.

The clot in my thigh is the one that is of most concern- any clot above the knee raises concern. It's a really big clot and it's way up high in the groin. The biggest concern is that it could break up or dislodge and move into my lungs causing a pulmonary embolism. Which I hear is a bad thing.

This time, I am in Sharp Memorial Hospital and my room is on the oncology (cancer) floor. My roommate is an older gentleman with pretty severe cancer in his abdomen. I have potentially dangerous clots, but I don't have cancer. I know a little about cancer (ok, a lot) and know enough to know that it's a terrible thing and overtakes the lives of the person who has the cancer as well as those around that person. Sitting here in my bed, I feel like crap from the throbbing in my leg, but I'm confident I'm going to be better. Many of the other folks on this floor don't have that luxury. Life is all about perspective... and I'm a lucky sonofabitch. Hopefully I'll get to home Sunday... I hope.

I'm getting two shots a day in my abdomen, that burn like hell, that are blood thinners/ anti-coagulants. I'm also taking a drug called Coumadin that keeps the blood from clotting. I'm getting my blood tested every day and they have me as immobile as possible, though I am allowed to get up to go to the bathroom... so I don't have to use the little plastic jug (so I've got that going for me). Basically... I'm gonna be fine in a few days and then I can go back to healing from the other injuries.

Speaking of the other injuries... the knee fractures look pretty good. I might have a little tear in the meniscus that is keeping the knee from being able to go totally straight. The best news is that the thumb surgery was a total success and I will not be losing the end of the finger. It's an ugly thumb... trust me... but it's going to be a complete thumb again. I'm going to lose the thumbnail that was on the thumb at the time of the crash, but the nail bed looks healthy and I should be growing a new nail. So it looks like, with the exception of the clots, I'm actually healing.

So it ain't all bad... (plus I've gone from 205lbs the night of the crash to 185lbs... yeah... losing weight)

Thanks for the support and well wishes- it means an awful lot to me.

Tim

Andy Hampsten

I just read this on CyclingNews a minute ago. It was less interesting to me for the bike (though it is cool and a great bike with details that fit the rider perfectly), but for the rider.

Andy Hampsten was one of the few riders who really captured my imagination and inspired me when I was racing as a junior. Andy is in his mid 40's now and isn't all that much older than me, but he was that generation ahead of me that I watched going on to worlds I was dreaming of one day reaching.

Andy's Giro d'Italia win in 1988 was probably more significant to me than Greg LeMond's first Tour win in 1986. Probably because Greg was the heavy favorite and was a dominant champion of the time- and had simply decimated the domestic scene here before jumping to the other side of the world to win bigger races. Andy wasn't that guy- he wasn't the dominant or expected winner. Sure, he couldn't ever be ruled out if there were hills... but he just wasn't thought of as THE guy in a grand tour.

All that said, Andy was one of the riders who I really admired. He was a great rider- a climbing specialist. He was a great team rider and rode excellently in the service of LeMond while at La Vie Claire. As a young rider, I was built much like Andy and had a similar riding style- a skinny climber who just tried to stay out of trouble until the hills.

After winning the '88 Giro, Andy remained one of the most humble champions of the sport and became one of the most legendary champions of the race. The stories of his epic ride into history are many, but he always remained the quietly humble rider who happened to win one of the most epic editions of the Giro.

In retirement, Andy has run a tour company that takes riders on glorious rides through Italy to experience the fantastic roads, scenery and food of the country that truly placed him in the pantheon of cycling champions. His name also graces some incredibly beautiful bicycles too. He and his brother Steve have worked with some of the best builders around to craft the frames.

From time to time I've gotten a comment/ email from Steve over the past few years; if you happen to read this Steve, please pass along my best to Andy. This 20th anniversary of his historic win is a great time to thank him for inspiring a skinny kid from Alabama to keep riding and racing. Heck, if Andy's willing (or both of you), I'd be honored to do a little Q&A/ interview... and I promise I'll do my best to not sound too much like a fawning bike nerd.

Bravo Andy!

Tim

It's like it's my birthday or something...

I've always loved the sound of that big brown truck rolling up with boxes for me... now more than ever...


I got a whole bunch of really cool goodies the past few days/ weeks...

• The jersey is from Donna Tocci and Bob- Bobke- Roll. Bob did a dealer event in Boston for Kryptonite and the two of them got me the jersey and Bob signed it with a "Get well soon- Bobke". Like I said in the Spokesmen Podcast yesterday, Bob even called me in the hospital... and I even remember a few sentences from the conversation.

• The T-shirt is from Fritz and says "gravity is my secondary retention device". Oh so true.

• The gift basket is from Peace Coffee in Minneapolis and was sent from Spencer and the crew (including Tim Hayes- aka Souper Wookie) from Little Guy Racing- a small and awesome team Masi sponsors. A big bag of yummy smelling coffee, a couple of mugs, some whole grain pancake mix and some delicious natural maple syrup.

• The big beers are from my friend, former co-worker and bike shop owner MSV (no names... just initials to protect the invisible). Yes, I do believe I'll be having one tonight.

• The bottle of wine and CDs come from my good friend Valeria Maltoni in Philadelphia. Nice Italian Chianti and some Italian music to soothe a weary and beat-up body and mind. Graziemille, bella.

Not pictured;

• A great care package from Donna full of Boston's very own Dunkin Donuts coffee and coffee mugs and a few other goodies.

• Freshly roasted bag of Limited Edition Roast Gautemala La Voz from Kinetic Koffee- which I had this morning and I was taken to a new level of consciousness.

• A set of new Sesame Street training wheels from the fine folks at Ritchey (I'll find a way to get you back for that one, KY...)

Thank you one and all. Sincerely. I don't know what I did to deserve you all. I'm more touched than I can ever tell you.

Tim