I warned you I'd be back to talk about all the Best Of 2005 garbage. I warned you, you can't say I didn't.
Best International Team News; Discovery Channel Announces Lance Armstrong Retirement
Lance who? You know, that guy who won 7 consecutive Tours de France. Maybe you haven't heard of him yet, but he made a little noise during his career before retiring this year. What's cool is that he might just hold a place in cycling history for a few years... and... get this- he's an American!
So now that "the Boss" is leaving the sport to focus on lawsuits and carrying Sheryl Crow's guitars around, what is Discovery Channel going to do? Without Lance, the Tour and the cycling world should theoretically grind to a halt. All wheels will stop spinning and riders will just give up because, really, what's the point now?
I kid because I love...
Well, the angry French are still likely to be angry because there isn't a French rider on the horizon likely to win the Tour any time soon. It's likely that either Jan Ullrich or Ivan Basso will step out of Lance's enormous shadow and make a play for the top step of the podium. Maybe one of the other Disco riders can make a run at the now-vacant thrown too. Yeah, I know, other riders have a shot now too, but those two are going to be on top of every pundit's list until the end of the 2006 Tour de France.
Best Domestic Team News; Masi signs sponsorship agreement with Abercrombie & Fitch/ Inferno Racing (Don't even try and tell me you didn't see that coming. Please... )
Yes, as you may have figured out, this is decidedly one of the very best things to happen for Masi this year. Masi, as a company, and I are thrilled to be working with A&F/Inferno for 2006. I am very much looking forward to working with the team to do great things in racing as well as product development. Those of you who sell or ride Masi will ultimately benefit from this relationship. How can that not be a significant development?
Biggest Dipshit/ Raimondas Rumsas "It Ain't For Me" Award; Dario Frigo
"Really officer, I had no idea my wife was carrying enough EPO to dope-up half the Tour riders." Really? Dumbass! Like his apparent hero and idol Raimondas Rumsas, Frigo used his wife to transport drugs for him (this from a guy caught with a suitcase full of drugs during the Giro d'Italia a few years ago) and then pulls the old "they aren't for me" story out of his... brain. Now, I'm no expert here, but I think it is reasonably safe to say that Frigo is a complete idiot. Really? You've been caught with drugs before and served a suspension, the French authorities are notorious for checking wives of riders cars now and you send your wife off with a car full of drugs and a date with the French prison system. You, my perforated friend, are an idiot! Sorry man, just calls'em like I sees'em.
I'm not done yet either. I still have a few more of these little gems and I still owe you the torture of knowing my Resolutions for 2006.